Balloons

So today would mark the approximate 2nd birthday of my first little angel. I'm sure, besides Paul and me, no one really remembers. We don't usually do anything to mark the occasion, right or wrong, it's just how we both (don't) deal with it.

This year though, something happened that I don't quite know how to explain properly. Some people might call it a coincidence, but I took it as a sign. We're always very careful when A gets balloons because we know she'd freak if it floated away. Today though, she got a balloon and through her general almost five year old carelessness, she lost her grip and it was released into the heavens. I didn't think much about it (since I wasn't here, it was P with the girls), until a little while ago I connected the two. A got another balloon, not the same color, but fun, nonetheless. She didn't forget the first balloon though. And I couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe it was representative of our losses. We never had control and our angels floated back to heaven. But we have a new balloon, a new baby to enjoy. We haven't forgotten the first (or second) one, but we're able to enjoy our darling little E. I don't know if this makes any sense or not. If not, I apologize. Maybe I'll revisit it when I'm not so tired or emotionally overwhelmed already. Anyway, regardless of whether or not I sound as confusing as I feel I do, I found a teeny bit of peace today in knowing that a balloon was released today, intentionally or not. Happy birthday little one...